Very Small Steps to.......somewhere

It's been a long and tiring month.  It feels like two months since I posted but in reality, only 12 days.  In other words.....discipline is hard and I am struggling to take even small steps in the right direction.  I am doing it but man it feels like I am getting nowhere, fast.

The world and all it's advertising tells us to do what feels good and that earthly pleasure in this moment is the end goal.  

The Lord tells me to wait, have patience and to look to Him for pleasure and satisfaction and the end goal is maturity in Him and eternity.

Some days I wish Jesus were more visible so He could stand beside me when I am tempted to live by the world's standards.  Was is easier for the disciples because Jesus was right there?  Or is it easier for me because I have Holy Spirit living inside of me?

Rhetorical questions that I will never answer.....but food for thought.  

Some days I just need a reminder that discipline is good to practice and that it will be to my gain in eternity.....but pride and laziness tell me to do what I want when I want it and forget the rest.

Who am I going to listen to?  And what is the ultimate goal?  Do I really want to enjoy right now but lose out on better things later?

I am completely tracking with Paul in Romans 7, when he says that he does things that he doesn't want to do, and does not do those things he wants to do........

Since the only way out is through, I had best keep taking those small steps and let the Lord change me from the inside.